We have spent so much time staring at cleavage and boobies in every media, that sometimes we forget what their biological purpose is. So it’s great that we have a week to celebrate the functionality of breasts. From 1 August to 7 August, the world celebrates #WorldBreastFeedingWeek. Now whether you choose to breastfeed or not, can or cannot, would or would not, those are your choices and you shouldn’t feel judged for it or conversely judge anyone for it as well. I spoke to 4 women who shared the funnier side of breastfeeding. Here are their stories.
“Look, no matter how much it is glorified or necessary, breastfeeding is not easy. Some have it harder than the others, and my experience with it was, let’s say, less than pleasant. For starters, I didn’t lactate very easily, so I’m definitely not the kind who inspired the gau mata trope. I had to resort to medication occasionally to get into the ‘flow’ of things. But when it rained, it poured. From worrying about my baby not getting enough, I had to worry about him choking! No, not joking. But once the competition with cows was established, I didn’t in on the race anymore. Seriously, it isn’t very glamorous to have overtiming udders and a wailing creature wanting to latch on it to every three hours. So I did what any respectable escapist would do – I chose to go the breast pump way. Now I could feel like a cyborg… ok, ok, maybe a milk machine. But let me tell you this – that wasn’t a walk in the park either. Pumping is painful to say the least and makes you shudder at the idea of idea of your boobs being squeezed for a loooong time. Thankfully, my baby took to the bottle pretty easily, and I was only too happy to be relieved of the duty of being “Mother Dairy.” – Urmi, Mom. Writer. Studies history.
“I expressed milk full time till my daughter was six months old. I remember one day when my husband woke up in the middle of the night and shook me awake because he thought I had wet the bed. All I was guilty of was really latching the bottle to my boobs, and falling straight asleep, on my back, because I was so goddamn tired. The laws of gravity did the rest, and the soaked mattress stank for ages afterwards.”- Jasmeeta, Mom. Hilarious. Lover of B Grade Hindi Movies
” I bought one of those breastfeeding blankets for when I had to feed in public. We were in a mall when my son got hungry and real cranky. When I first put the blanket on him and would check, he thought it was a game of a peek a boo and we spent a real long time establishing that no, this was actually meal time. Then, he was covered and I was struggling with my nursing bra and he was crying loudly and my hand was moving in the blanket and basically it was chaos all around. I got some stares from women coming to the bathroom that day. I think they thought I was whacking my son under there.”- Tanvi, Mom. Funny. Ghaati Dancer.
” Things don’t just awkward when you are feeding but otherwise as well. This once I was sitting in the bank waiting for my turn and suddenly I felt cold on my right nipple only to realise I’m leaking. When I looked down at my boobs, there was a wet patch. I immediately took my handbag up on my lap to cover it and walked out to the pharmacy to buy nipple pads and clean up. But milk stains don’t go that easily so I had to spend the rest of the day at work with a not-so-discreet stain on my shirt.” Radhika, Mom. Entrepreneur. Sharer of Memes.